So apparently some clever scientists created a device called the Large Hadron Collider that could possibly mimic the exact environment of the Big Bang a million of a second after the explosion.

First of all - have you seen this thing?

I have to admit - that thing looks pretty darn awesome.  It's like what I expect the matrix embedded in optimus prime's chest would look like - that awesome.

Second of all - who's the nerd that called it "Hadron Collider."  What a lame name.  That's like Optimus Prime being named Truck Bot.  I like what some sensational news agencies are calling it - "SUPER SMASHER!"

ok - stop ADD.  Focus.

So this crazy looking $10 billion machine sends a beam of particles racing around the 27 kilometer ring at the speed of light using 1,800 superconducting magnet systems where protons will reach an energy level of 7 trillion electon volts while scientists will detect and record collisions using a network of state of the art advanced computers all designed to try to mimic the conditions at the beginning of the universe a la Big Bang theory that supposedly happened 15 billion years ago.

Yup - all this for a sofa cushion scratching $10 billion dollars.  Pssst - meanwhile, people are dying of starvation btw. 

But apparently people are freaking out some - I thought Christians would be upset about this but it seems to be coming more from anyone - apparently there are lawsuits that have been filed against this machine being turned on - there's a fear that it would create hypothetical black holes and end the world as we know it.  Though many scientists dismiss these fears as preposterous, reading around - I get a sense that a lot of scientists aren't completely sure what's to happen.

This machine will be turned on this Wednesday.  Which will either mean that a few of you paranoid types need to get your affairs in order, while the rest of you will wake up that day thinking - hey, it's wednesday. 

But let's look back for a bit - We have to accept, we could be wrong about all of this -  most people at one point thought the world was flat - but we now know that isn't true.  and let's not forget us Christians too - we kinda messed some things up in the past - at one point we thought the earth was the center of the universe - but we now know that wasn't true. 

At the same time - we can not deny all the advancements in science and technology by Christians and non-Christians alike.

Heliocentrism was a huge challenge for Christians in the 16th century - but we survived it.  Which brings me to this event....we don't know what's to come about the test on wednesday.  Even, if it shows how a big bang might work, it's still questionable to whether or not it's conclusive to why things are the way they are today. 

This should not be a debate about literal creationism, or theistic evolution, or darwinism - we all know we can debate that forever and no matter what anyone says, it always ends with someone saying "you're an idiot!  discussion over!"  So please, keep the discussion civil and mind that what you say can be personal.

But I ask you - just how Christians came to understand Heliocentrism today - what outcomes and tests would possibly prove to you how God created this world?  

I noticed something about myself that I can't really explain.  I have this strange aversion to big churches. 

I run into it time to time, most notably on the TV.  It's the classic thing where you wake up early on Sunday and decide to turn on the tube as you get ready for church.  And there it is - a pastor in a pristine new suit, holding a microphone, and pacing back and forth on an enormous stage.  In the background there's a 100 person choir, with a full band set up that you swear looked like a late night television show's band. 

Periodically the camera pans to the audience, and you see thousands of people sitting in the church.  Old, young, families, singles....filling pews after pews. It's an awesome scene...

And for some reason, I always change the channel.

Charles Stanley, Joel Oesteen, Rick Warren...the lists goes on - the names are all known.  But I don't want to watch them.  I don't want to go to their church.  I love reading their books, but I have no desire to get to know them.

And I can't figure out why.

There are many pastors out there that have built great churches.  I was part of one of the largest in New York City.  But something about being part of that church I felt misplaced.  Empty even.  The sermons were great, and the resources were bountiful.  I plugged myself into small groups - attended a few events, invited friends.  But something about the big church environment scared me.  I was clearly allergic.

There's nothing wrong with big churches - they can serve as great places to meet God.  I just have this weird feeling against it. 

I wondered if it was all the production value - the practiced music, the overwhelming sea of people, the polished agenda pamphlets, the praise band that can play any song exactly like the original recording or even the synchronized shouts of Amen.   Big churches generally do better - with more people, there are more resources.  With more resources, quality will just be better.  It's also such a blessing to have such plentitude - God's gift to everyone there.

But there's something about being in a small church that I just love.  I love the praise team with the guitarist that's just starting out, fumbling with the chords.  I love having Bible study in the old leaky basement of the church because there's no where else to do it.  I love the old photo copied church bulletins where some words are cut off.  I love the pastor, who just started out and still needs to check his notes every other minute.  And I love the feeling of sitting with the small number of other brothers and sisters in the pews....and proudly having the privelege to know them all by name. And finally, I love worship there.  In all it's mistakes, fumbles, sloppiness, and small scale - it's perfect.  I meet God everytime.

Maybe it's just stripped down so much that it's just God and me.  Maybe it's affirmation that I didn't 'choose' that church because of what it can do for me.  I'm simply not sure...

Nevertheless, my church is always pushing to grow, but frankly - inside my heart, I hope it doesn't.  I hope it stays small....

And maybe that's it - I love my small church so much, it made me allergic to big churches.  Who knows. 

Bottomline, I love small churches.  How about you?

so i've been struggling to write this post for a long time.  Not sure why - I guess it could be the fact that i'm a million years old (yes, i counted...a million).  but as I was aiming with a friend, i realized how much AIM is like asking someone out on a date and dating itself....

messing up a pick up line
chris:  hey there
girl:  hi
chris:  so...want to hang out later?  how abou tit?
girl:  ....
chris:  i mean "about it"
girl:  ....

the walk out
chris:  hey, i know you're mad at me but got time to chat?
[girl had signed off]

bad timing
girl (3:03 pm):  which movie do you like and why?
chris (3:03 pm):  well i think star wars does a good job of captivating the imagination and using spirituality, character, and environment to really draw you in.  how about you?
girl (3:34 pm):  so sorry!  i got caught up talking to ken, didn't even see your window blink!  so sorry!  it's not your computer, it's mine. 

bringing up the past
chris:  you always say that it's your fault!  stop trying to make it about you!
girl:  i NEVER SAY THAT!  I NEVER SAY IT'S MY FAULT
chris:  girl:  it's my fault, it's always my fault
girl:  STOP SCROLLING BACK UP!

fighting
chris:  FINE!
girl: FINE!
Warning for chris: 6:50:34 PM You've been warned by girl.  Your warning level has increased from 0% to 20%
Warning for chris: 6:50:34 PM You've been warned by girl.  Your warning level has increased from 20% to 40%
Warning for chris: 6:50:34 PM You've been warned by girl.  Your warning level has increased from 40% to 80%
Warning for chris: 6:50:34 PM You've been warned by girl.  Your warning level has increased from 80% to 100%
chris:  *sigh*
The last message was not sent due to your warning level.

jealousy
chris:  hey
girl: so who's sExYgUrL2000?
chris:  huh?  oh..someone i just met through xanga
girl: what's she like?
chris:  i dunno, she just randomly IMed.
girl: did you look at her profile?
chris:  what profile?  she had a profile?
girl: yeah, whatever
chris:  just let it go, don't worry
girl: .....

30 minutes later

girl: is she on your buddy list?
chris:  no!  and will you let it go!?

and finally, marriage
chris wants to directly connect (1:22:26PM)
chris is now directly connected. (1:22:27PM)
chris:  whoo hooo!

in ways, there's a lot of parallels to asking and introducing the Gospel to a friend.  The timing has to be right, the person has to be ready, and it all has to be motivated out of love.

in the end - the key to asking someone out, is just to be yourself.  being honest and transparent as you can be.  and also - to never forget to pray.  you have no idea what's in store for you - but there's someone that does.

press on folks....